so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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