Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Who died my cat blue again?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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