Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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