You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
