i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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