none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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