She announced her abortion via fbk
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
