I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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