I just pynch a tree in the face
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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