I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
