just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize