Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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