do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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