the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
