we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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