whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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