Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
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Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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