Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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