I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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