3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
