just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
