perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
