so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dicks are not precious.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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