great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
