Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
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I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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