bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
lets start a swedish sibling band together
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
