tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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