Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
not ubering you a puppy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
