i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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