I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
