i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
