boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
