still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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