White coat. Heels.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
