Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
