you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
