Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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