I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
