Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
