So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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