it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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