dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
