I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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