OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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