I want you more than these girls want KFC
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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