Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
