It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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