You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
