trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
