Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
