there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize