never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
