it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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