I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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