That's when you crack a 10am beer
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he laminated a picture of his dick.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
