after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
