Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
no, he came in my armpit
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize