I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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