I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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