nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize