woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
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And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
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Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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