Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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