He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
